Pieces of Me
by tvfan69
Summary: Alternate Ending to "Broken Foot" where Karai does some reflecting on the scar she shed, and the scars that she may never shed.


They had all tackled Donnie in a dog pile hug once he came too, not even hearing his pleas against it until it was too late and he was pinned underneath a suffocating pile of shells and strong green arms. It was one thing that had always been particularly admirable about the Hamato Clan: their ability to forgive.

They'd always had issues amongst each other; between Raph's raging temper, Mikey's childish nature, Donnie's tendencies to be a bit of a show off, and Leo's self-righteousness they had mastered long ago the skills to forgive each other and push necessary discussions off until a more appropriate time. But there was one Hamato who was still yet to master that skill.

The one that they thought they lost.

Leo found her right where they had left her, sitting on the couch in the living room. Shinigami was nowhere to be seen, but the faint aroma of tea coming from the kitchen told Leo exactly where she was.

"I'm just like him, aren't I?" Karai didn't look over her shoulder when she spoke, she just continued staring off into space like she wasn't even talking to Leo, but instead she was talking to herself.

Leo didn't say anything at first, how could he? He couldn't lie to her, but he couldn't tell her the truth either. Because the truth is _yes_. Yes, she is exactly like him. She's vengeful, angry, and consumed with all these feelings of rage to the point where she isn't thinking clearly.

"You don't have to be," He finally found himself saying, and now she did glance over at him with a skeptical expression on her face. "Karai he brainwashed you," He began, moving towards her until he was able to hop down and sit next to her. "You aren't, were never, his daughter. You're free from him now, and you can choose who you want to be. He doesn't have the power to determine you, don't give it to him." He all but pleaded, the thoughtful look on her face making him think that he just might have gotten through to her.

"Pretty words Leo," she finally said, "But that's all they are."

"Karai-"

"Do you know who I want to be Leo?" She interrupted what would've undoubtedly been a plea from him to take his words as truth. "I want to be the person I would've been had he never taken me away."

"Well you can't," It was Raph's hard voice that came from behind them, both of them turning around to see him standing there with his arms folded and a stern look on his face.

"Raph-" Leo started to scold but his brother cut him off by holding up a hand.

"Sorry to break it to you Princess, but he did take you. He took you and he raised you; you can't change that."

"Raph that's enough." Leo said sternly but he should've known it was useless, judging by the pissed look on Raph's face his patience were already gone and they weren't coming back until he said what he felt he had too.

"You don't know who you would've been if the fire never happened, because it did and Shredder brainwashed you." He ranted as he stalked over to the two of them, Karai standing to meet him as he approached.

"Then what do you suggested I do, Raphael?" She challenged with a deadly glare and of course the hotheaded turtle had one to match.

"I _suggest_ , sister, that you take a good long look in the mirror, think about and accept who you _are_ , instead of wasting your life wondering who you could've been. Face it; Miwa died a long time ago." He said and so of course upon hearing the mere notion that Raph didn't think Karai was capable of redemption Leo stood up and got between them.

"That's enough, Raph!" He said it much more forcefully this time, not that Raph listened. Sure he stopped talking, but only because he had said all he needed.

Turning over his shoulder and looking at Karai, well she didn't seem to be showing any emotion. She didn't look angry, didn't look upset, she just had this blank and maybe thoughtful look on her face. Only when Raph finally turned heel and left the two of them there, did she finally speak.

"I should probably get going, tell Donatello I'm glad that he's ok." She said remorsefully.

Leo was going to protest, but she never gave him a chance to. Instead she simply turned around and hurried out of the lair, just as Shinigami returned from the kitchen with two cups of tea and shared a concerned look with Leo.

"I'll go after her," he finally said but much to his surprise, she shook her head.

"Give her a few minutes," she instructed with a face as long and frustrated as the blue wearing turtle's, "She shouldn't be alone, but she needs to think."

* * *

Let the record show that Shinigami was right and Karai didn't need to be alone right now, but she was sure glad she was. She got out of the lair and started walking, unshed tears clouding her vision as she went until finally she decided that she was far enough away to sit down and let them out. She wasn't loud about it, she simply let the tears roll down her cheeks in silence as she thought about what tonight had brought upon her and the turtles.

Donatello was hurt because of her. Leo's position as the leader of his team might be in jeopardy because she had continuously persuaded him to aid her in plans that only grew riskier and riskier. Sure enough she got burned, literally. If she weren't still, ironically, blessed with her mutation then she would've been condemned to spend the rest of her life with a permanent reminder that she is EXACTLY like the Shredder.

"Hey," It was a gentle but still hard voice that snapped Karai from her thoughts; one that she was surprised to hear wasn't filled with anger. Still, she said nothing and only continued staring blankly at the grimy sewer ground before her as April O'Neil sat down beside her. "I heard what Raph said," the red head confessed and Karai merely hummed in acknowledgment. "You know, for once, I think he's right." She continued but Karai still didn't say anything, which understandably had April feeling a little awkward about continuing with this. "You can't change what happened to you Karai, I know it's a hard thing to accept but-"

"Oh would you shut up!?" The sulking girl finally snapped, catching April off guard and causing her to draw back just a little. Karai hadn't meant to generate that kind of a reaction from April, although in hindsight there's really no other reaction she could've gotten, so she just rolled her eyes and let out a small growl at her own frustration. "Look I'm sorry but you actually don't know how hard it is to accept. You don't know what it's like to suddenly find out that you're entire life has been a lie, you don't know how it feels to be the wild card in a war, and you don't know how it feels to be told that no matter what you do you will never become you one thing you actually want to be!" She shouted and through it all April looked at her with sympathy, the kind that only someone who does in fact understand can give.

"Don't I?" She asked and with nothing else to say Karai just looked at her. "How do you think I felt when I found out I'm half Kraang?" She asked and for once Karai didn't have a snotty remark set up, instead she just listened. "Karai all I wanted was to be normal again, and then after I'd had some time to process it I realized that I was never normal. So I thought that if we took out the Kraang then somehow all my anger towards them for doing this to me would go away, but it didn't. I still have my powers, and I always will. If I could get rid of them, become completely human, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can't, I can't turn myself into someone who can't exist." She concluded and as much as Karai would hate to admit it, so out loud she won't, O'Neil did have a pretty good understanding.

"So how do you not let it control you?" She asked, still avoiding eye contact of course.

"It's hard," April admitted, "When I first found out, everything I did was about fighting it. Everything I did, I wondered if I even would've done it if I were completely human. Then whenever I tried actually using my powers, I felt like a freak. I hated them; still hate them actually. But finally I just had to accept that, for better or worse, my powers are a part of me, but only a part." She said and Karai thought on that for a minute.

"Shredder's always going to be a part of me, isn't he?" She asked and April shrugged.

"Maybe," she replied before letting out a sigh. "I know it's hard, almost impossible, to stop thinking about him but that's really the only way you're going to be able to move on." She said and Karai huffed.

"I can't stop thinking about him, not when I know facing off against him is inevitable." She said and this time it wasn't April who spoke next, this time the voice came from a little further down the tunnel.

"Maybe, but in the meantime you need to stop thinking like a mobster and start thinking like a ninja." Raph's strict voice cut through, both girls looking at him in surprise as he approached. "You're attracting Shredder's attention by taking out his assets, and while it's true that it'll cripple his operation it's also true that he has about as much patience as you and me. He'll come to fight, and even you know you're not ready to fight him." He continued, folding his arms over his chest as the girls stood up to meet his eyes.

"So what do you propose I do to fix that problem?" Karai asked, her arms also folded and her glare giving Raph's a run for his money.

"Stay here," he said seriously, although considering this was Raph talking neither April nor Karai could believe that he wasn't kidding. "The best thing that a ninja can do in situations like this is wait for the right time to strike. No matter who attacks first, the fight will come when it's ready. That way, when Shredder's lying in a heap of blood at your feet and your ready to deliver the final blow, you'll know what's guiding your actions." He advised and while April furrowed her brow that the normally explosive turtle's newfound wisdom, Karai thought on the words before giving her signature smirk.

"Never thought I'd hear you off all people advocating for patience." She teased but Raph didn't seem amused, in fact his glare actually seemed to grow just a tad resentful. "One thing that Splinter never taught me; it's ok to be angry." He confessed, obviously catching both April and Karai off guard. "It's ok to be mad at Shredder, what isn't ok is letting that anger guide your decisions. You told Splinter that you're an adult, but taking on all of this on your own is the most immature thing you could be doing. Let us help you, actually help you, before you destroy yourself."

He mumbled those last words so low that Karai and April both had to strain to hear them, and even then they wondered if they had heard him right. This was Raph they were talking about after all, the turtle who's never wanted anything to do with Karai and has always been vocal about it. But he was serious, they could both tell from the almost desperate look on his face that he was, and Karai did her best to fight the small smile creeping onto her face but eventually she lost that battle.

* * *

There was a soft knock at the door, which Donnie found extremely odd considering the guys normally just barge right into the lab. But he figured that maybe they had realized he just wanted to take it easy after his injuries, so he didn't read too much into it.

"Come in," he called, but he nearly did a double take when Karai of all people poked her head inside.

"Hi," she said, the nervous tone so out of place in her normally confident voice.

"Hey, you're still here?" Donnie found himself asking in surprise. She took the question as an invitation inside, despite that he had already invited her in, and entered with a bowl of what Donnie assumed was soup based on the steam.

"I'm actually not leaving for awhile," she admitted, approaching his desk and placing the soup down as though it were some kind of peace offering. "Michelangelo made it," she assured him, "I'm glad you're ok, I didn't mean for you to get hurt." She confessed and he offered her a smile.

"Don't worry about it, technically we weren't even supposed to be there." He said but that only seemed to make her feel worse. "Listen Karai," Donnie began awkwardly, he's never really been good at reading people and so he could only hope that what he was about to say was really what she needed to hear. "I know you're used to being on your own, but we've got your back." He promised and she sighed in response, but regardless a smile did cross her face.

"I know," She said, "Which is why I've decided to take a break from the vendetta and stay for awhile, maybe learn how to function as part of a team." She told him and Donnie was shocked, which showed if the amusement on Karai's face was anything to go by.

"That's great!" He finally got out,

"Yeah?" Karai asked with a relieved laugh.

"Of course!" He exclaimed and she laughed again.

"Good to know," She said and with everything that needed to be said out of the way a semi-awkward silence fell over the two of them before Karai took it as her cue to head towards the door. "Well I'll leave you to whatever you were doing Donatello, and thank you."

"No problem, but Karai?" He called after her and so she stopped in the doorway, turning back to look at him. "Do us all a favor and stop with the full names?" He asked and she beamed at the request.

"You got it," she replied, off to tell Mikey that she would be staying.


End file.
